phew. finished chapter one: device contexts. moving on to the brush object. i made a small project displaying a picture out of the applications resource. it zooms up and down.
i had the cab pass by the SSS office. it was literally packed. come to think of it, when was it not packed. i pass by it (tous les jour) on the way to work. im going to try to get to it before lunch. or maybe its better if i just have the HR deal with getting me an ID. the ID is a requirement for a salary loan of a measely 15k. why do i even bother. i should have taken cared of it even before i got here in cebu.
c'est mon premier mois anniversaire aujourd'hui avec j. nous allions rencontrer son ami (pour diner) des l'ile de bacolod. un quarante ans. i got hold up at work. so we had to postpone. i am having doubts as usual. not the kind that i experienced in the past that were all too strong and overwhelming. more about being pratical. i am not sure if this is a good thing. nor is it any less legitimate.
these were the times when it seemed prayer worked. (my experience with prayer) its illogical to conclude that it works without empirical evidence. i can see why a lot of people see it differently. it explains why i understand the movie - signs by mel gibson. it explains that certain "thing" out there that is the symptom of order (in the universe). i dont know - is the accurate and most honest assessment. insufficient information.
1. my grandmother lived with us when i was younger. i couldnt bear the thought of her dying. i prayed that id go first or if she has to go, let it be that id be absent to witness it. circumstances forced by grandmother to move away from us. and she died weeks after. i was devastated for a while.
2. i am a loner. i hated gradeschool and highschool even more. i didnt have friends. not real friends who knew the real me. nor people who would not judge me for what i am. i prayed for friends. i found them in college.
3. i was determined to end life if i didnt get laid by the time i get off college. i prayed for it. i had my first sexual encounter during my thesis days (this was not premeditated it just happened).
4. i challenged "god". i was determined to end life at 25 if i didnt get a "special" friend. and i did right around my birthday too. it was a pleasant surprise. two weeks after, it didnt work out. its like the universe' way of telling me to hang on. it couldnt be that bad.
5. right now i profess i am an atheist. although sometimes i find myself praying to "god" to take care of my family and that if he needs to exact his wrath that he take it on me instead. me being the evil damnable atheist.