BONNES FETES A TOUS! HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! this is the greeting that i would use during this time of the year. it respects the beliefs of other people what ever the case that maybe. it does not presume that another is christian like when people would say MERRY CHRISTMAS which alienates and ultimately demeans non christian people and their own beliefs. NOT EVERYONE IS CHRISTIAN. jews celebrate the festival of lights and moslems celebrate the end of ramadan. many people are ignorant including myself about religious holidays of other religions. another greeting which i found to be very acceptable is PEACE BE WITH YOU. although its been used by catholics during their mass service, it has a solid secular quality about it. and so .. je dois dire .. que la paix soit avec toi mon ami ..
four months. i find myself boarding the plane back to cebu. i am excited to see the city that i have considered home for almost 5 years. i longed for the fresh air, the relaxed atmosphere, being away from it all, which is how i wanted to spend the holidays. over the past couple of days, i have been swamped with programming work. i wanted to get away from it just for a while.
i was also hoping id get some hard earned dough but i suppose that has to wait as well. there was a slight complication. i was furious but i also know that i need only to be more patient. mother was furious when she heard.
i have not been away that long but ive noticed some changes while i was away. there are new office buildings. mall extensions. new arrangments at the supermarket. new restaurants (fastfood) and apartments. cebu is clearly and rapidly developing.
i had lunch with some old friends. a reunion. it was nice to be them reminiscing about "the good old days". we are only given this brief moment yet again. this makes it rather special. compounded with having to deal with saying goodbye all over again. and it did feel like goodbye.
er .. max?? breathe ..
my visit was not just about reunions and feeling down and empty after. i did need to bring back some books, a computer monitor, and some clothing i managed to leave behind last time i was here. i slept in my old room. it felt strange. it felt like i was home. i was a ghost come back to haunt the place i frequented in while i was alive. it irks me that there is no going back except in my mind. and its vague. everything is vague. i could have just imagined it all. encore une fois, tu me manques bien mon ami .. tu me manques toujours. (sigh)
fortunately for ghis who happened to need someone to deliver an airplane ticket, i was happy to take the errand. she left for france and will be back next year. whenever i am with her and her friends (who are italians) i can't help but feel inferior and different. i told ghis about it. i think she understood what i was talking about. she doesn't understand why i felt that way. neither do i. am i less of a human being? this is a pinoy mentality we are so familiar with, something i need to unlearn. or this is something more personal. a mental sickness of feeling constantly inadequate.