une lettre de mon oncle

au travail. j'ai demandé à quelqu'un lesquels hospitaux sont dirigé par technidata dans les philippines. elle m'a donné cette réponse suivante. st. lukes, cardinal santos et medical city. trois hospitaux. il n'est pas mal pour un an et demi depuis le début. technidata fait assez bien. je pensais que oui. et puis, ils ont aussi des projets pour l'entrainements de la langue française pour les employes. la vie est bonne.

ça faisait longtemps que je n'avais pas parlé le cebuano. je l'oublie peu à peu parce que je ne le pratique plus, mais il est sûr que cette langue me manque. je suis venu à l'apprendre parce que j'ai vécu au cebu pendant 5 ans. c'est une langue très importante aux philippines parce qu'elle est parlée par la plupart des gens, surtout dans les visayas et à mindanao, c'est aussi la langue maternelle de mon père, qui est soi-même cebuano.

salamat sa mail. saludo ako sa'yo jun. maayo nag cebuano ka sa imong mga mails this taym. in this way mapractice nimo ang dialect hence dili naka malimot. i think it would be good for you. ang bagyo frank nagbilin ug kusog and ulan lang diri sa isabel. as of this mail, dia c tita exun nimo sa isabel. ang mga bata ug mga apo tua ra sa cebu. na informed me via news ang resulta pag-agi sa bagyo frank diha sa inyong lugar. anyway, thats nature doing her act. . wala tayong magawang paghinto sa gusto niya. just translate to ruth and wena kini atong mails. maau na ka jun mahimong translator (if lisod kaau, try your papa to help you) o later on travel guide for your bros and sister as well as your pamangkins. i know u learned to love to speak cebuano and most importantly the islands of visayas. d ba? ang mga pinsan mo (jovan, goody, gewx2, shax2 and kim) is expected to attend the sydney world youth day july 14 - 24. sana, matuloy cila. ang tita exun mo and bantay apo while their parents will be away. c alva (wife of goody) will remain this taym. thanks for all the updets. hinaut padayon imo mga mails (huwag lang maging hadlang sa personal tayms sana). regards po sa tanan and ingatz palagi. hadji

EEE PC - barato kaayo!

j'ai vu des EEE PCs (easy to learn, easy to work, easy to play) qui sont à vendre pres du centre commercial (à sm muntinlupa et selon mes amis en ligne) près de chez mes parents où j'ai passé le dernier weekend. ce qui est le plus suprenant, c'est que c'est à vendre pour seulement 13,000 pesos. c'est un prix vraiment abordable. et donc, peut-être c'est temps. je suis extrêmement tenté de l'acheter. (soupire) il soutient kde desktop linux. j'ai toujours voulu apprendre à utiliser linux. en fait, j'ai déjà lu un livre à propose de linux.

sabihin natin na nabili ko na sya. ano yung mga bagay bagay na puede kong gawin. meron syang word processor. puedeng mag basa (at lumikha héhé) ng books. puede din makinig ng musica at manuod ng mga palabas. (OK wala siyang DVD drive). pero meron siyang wireless built in card para makaconnect sa internet. meron din 2 USB port para maka connect sa ibang pang device tulad ng IPOD, ng external hard disk, sa mouse. sa tingin ko nga maigi to sa mga estudyante eh. at higit sa lahat puedeng puede na akong magaral ng linux. hehe nakakatukso talagang bumili nito. grabeh mehn! ^_^

le jollijeep

si tu n'avais pas encore entendu parler de LICA DE GUZMAN. j'ai trouvé par hasard quelque de ses vidéos dans l'internet (youtube). et j'ai trouvé aussi quelque de ses videos du jun anteola. je l'aime plus quand elle chante en français.

je crois encore (i still believe)


prendre un enfant par la main (to take a child by the hand)


ATHEIST NATION. je lisais le site atheistnation et j'ai trouvé les vidéos suivants par donexodus2. je les ai vu et j'ai posté un sommaire pour chaque preuve dans sa liste. j'adore juste SCIENCE!! malgré toutes les preuves, c'est difficile à croire qu'il y a beaucoup de gens encore qui continuent à croire à la superstition. les 4 preuves, qui donexodus2 (de youtube) avait donné, sont les suivantes: (part 1) neanderthal mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA), chromosomal fusion, retroviral DNA. (part 2 ) et summation.

1. neanderthal mitochondrial DNA - hominids existed. neanderthals had music and buried their dead. the mtDNA illustrates that neanderthals are far from human. they were VERY not human.

2. chromosomal fusion - chromosome two is a fused pair of chromosomes that are still found separated in other primates.

3. retroviral DNA - virus that became part of the genome. illustrates human's common ancestry by comparing between existing retroviral DNA in other primates.

4. summation - the combination of embryology, genetics, anatomy, biology, etc of the different scientific disciplines confirms evolution.

JOLLIJEEP. pangalawang beses ko nang mananghali sa jollijeep (dyolee dyeep). dito kami kumain ni K kahapon. sa simula't sipol pa lamang. kahit nuong unang panahon. nuong febrero 1996 akong nagsimulang magtrabajo at alam ko na at namamasid ko na ang version ng carenderia sa makati - ang jollijeep.

iniiwasan ko lang nuon dahil ito ay nabigyan ng reputation na hindi malinis. PERO malinis naman sa aking paningin ang mga pagkain. at higit sa lahat, sari sari ang ulam at syempre ang walang kamatayang kanin. may pang dessert pa na saging. at softdrinks. Php 50 pesos lang. saan ka makaka kita ng ganun kamura at kasarap sa ciudad.

di ko malubos maisip bakit hindi ako kumakain nuon sa jollijeep. alam ko na! kasi maarte ako nuon. héhé. ang tawag dati namin sa mga maaarte ay mga yuppies na sa kasalukuyang nalalapit ang kilos at salita sa mga coño. pero may karagdagang kahulugan ang dalawa sa akin. ito yung pagpapanggap na mayaman. nga pala. ang salitang coño ay cunt sa ingles nabasa ko sa wordreference.com. hehe bulgar pala ang salitang yan.

washington sycip park

i was looking at the list of national mottos. and i found them interesting. notice for example how progressive nations put little or no importance to religion and superstition. these nations make policies based on rational thinking and science.

Les Philippines: Maka-Diyos, Maka-Tao, Makakalikasan at Makabansa (Tagalog, For God, People, Nature and Country)[86] .. Former: Isang bansa, isang diwa (Tagalog, One nation, one spirit) - when and how did this change occur? i suspect christians at work ..

Les Etats-Unis: In God We Trust (official) and E pluribus unum (Latin, Out of many, one) (de-facto) - changed by christians in congress in 1956

France: Liberté, égalité, fraternité - vive la france!

Espagne: Plus Ultra (Latin, Further beyond). Former: Una, grande y libre

Japon: Peace and Progress

makati. j'ai pris ces photos en utilisant mon portable nokia 3500 (un portable qui est très bon marché) . imagine. j'avais travaillé dans cette ville il y a dix ans. et j'y ai passé souvent quand je suis en route au edsa. ce parc est dans le centre de la ville (près de greenbelt 1).

when i feel trapped. when its crowded. when there are too many voices talking at the same time, or when i need to recollect my thoughts and feelings. when i need some quiet. some peace and calm. i take some alone time. normally .. i am never in need to impose, so instead of telling people to move out (of the situation / or to leave me alone) or such, i move myself out. i take my alone time without permission. i walk around the city. i lock myself in my bedroom. i climb a flight of stairs to the rooftop. anywhere where i could be. just be. where i need to breathe deep and consider the universe. looking from the outside - in. or rather from the inside - out, much like parks in the middle of the city. alone time is where people can momentarily get away from it all. even if its just for a few minutes ..

things now seem to have changed. i have people around me that i need to consider before myself .. this is fine. i could live with that - having to deal with people around me. people i trust in this case. but i need them to respect their boundaries. my boundaries. and i theirs. i need to communicate.

playboy philippines

Playboy Philippines draws flak from Church - [snip] MANILA, Philippines - The new version of Playboy which will be distributed in the country drew flak Thursday from members of the Catholic church hierarchy who warned that it might have adverse effects on a nation already beset by moral problems. .. “Whatever is its contents, if it would destroy the moral stature of the people, it should not be permitted here," Quitorio said in a telephone interview.

nakikialam na naman ang simbahan sa kung ano ang puede at hindi natin basahin? panuorin? matutunan? at maranasan? at bakit naman hinahayaan ng mga tao ang panghihimasok ng simbahan sa kani kanilang mga buhay. tinanong ko ang kaibigan kong social worker ng gikan ng lyon france. tungkol dito na conservativo ang kulturang pinoy. at ang sabi niya ay hindi daw talaga tayo conservativo kung hindi tayo ay mga hipocrito pag dating sa tema ng SEX. napaka luma pa din ang ating pananaw sa sex. sinusundan pa din natin na ang SEX ay masama at nangyayari lang sa loob ng kasal (pre marital sex), madumi ang pagjajakol (self sex). at higit sa lahat hindi daw dapat nasasarapan dito (divorced from pleasure). galing ito lahat kay saint agustin. at ito ang patuloy na tinuturo ng simbahan at mga escuela nila. kaya sa tingin ko maraming retarded sa topic ng SEX. isa na ako duon.

makikita ang pagka hipokrito natin sa paglalabas ng playboy philippines. dahil siguradong bebenta ito sa takilya. (takilya??) importante sa akin ang freedom of expression. hindi ba't kayat nagkalat ang evangelization sa tv. sapagkat nahahayan silang mag pahiwatig sa nais nilang ipahiwatig.

may tanong ako .. bakit hindi siya katulad ng playboy na lahat natin nakagisnan nuong tayo ay nagbibinata. gagawin pang tago ang sexualidad? when we should celebrate sexuality as it is part of being human. regardes les bresiliens, les francais, les anglais .. les gens d'europe. ils s'amusent la vie parce qu'ils ne sont pas inhibé (inhibited).

à propos de (b)

voici un chat édité entre moi et (p). nous parlions de (b), un autre ami. un bon ami ..

(m): balita?

(p): wala naman bago

(m): sana weekend na. im bored

(p): ikaw? ano balita?

(m): ito im (a bit) afraid of (b). essentially and i quote "kasama kami sa mga pinaikot niya with his stories". as it seems. we were manipulated into thinking something. and yet, he seems to be an okey down to earth and level headed guy. and now, these things make me think twice about having him around. what if he twists something and then he makes me look bad. and then he did say he likes (k). and he jokingly told me to be wary. i know he wouldn't do anything. i trust him implicitly. and i trust (k) implicitly as well. in fact, i owe (b). he was there when i needed help with (k). i consider him a close friend. which is why i want to talk to him about this. i want to tell him that i (we) his friends are there for him.

(p): kick him out of the house. lol. :)) you'll never know. he might be hitting you na. nakatalikod ka.

(m): he is a friend. i dont want to abandon (b) .. just that .. i want (k) and me to be more wary of (b) now that we have seen his pattern of misinterpreting reality. did i tell you that earlier he told me that him and (n) were together? and i thought that (n) was being a jerk. because i believed (b). and (n) was far from being sweet to (b). but now it made sense that (n) was aloof. they're weren't really together.

(m): hindi naman siguro (that he will backstab me). (b) is a good person. i have seen his good heart. normally he has good intentions but when he misinterprets reality, thats when he makes wrong decisions. esp when it comes to matters of the heart. we all do crazy things when it comes to that.

(m): finally. he has made apologies to all of us. i know that what he did. he really did believe them. he was not acting out of malice. does he have actual remorse? i still feel, he feels has been wronged. he has not even apologized to the one person he owes an apology the most. but this is already none of my business. it's out of my hands.

(m): as a friend, i can only be there for (b). je suis juste là. mon ami ..

Gygax meurt

manunuod sana kami ng ciné kagahapon. pero habang kumakain kami ng hapunan. bigla akong nakaramdam ng inis. parang lahat ng sinasabi sa akin ay pagkutya o paginsulto. iniisip ko na biro lang ito ng mga tao. i am a cheerful and quiet guy and i dont normally explode except on very specific situations. (1) i feel im cornered (2) i see someone i love cornered.

i remember seeing everyone laughing at something or someone. the story was about a certain (E) who i didnt want to be around with for reasons beyond the scope of this rant. they were telling me that i was going to have to deal with (E) anyway when i specifically expressed that i didnt want to. i was becoming agitated at the thought. but apparently noone was taking me seriously. everyone was laughing (at me). i exploded.

(K) approached me and told me everything. i felt even more stupid after. i was not ashamed for exploding. i thought i had every right to. i am sorry though for ruining (K)'s surprise and the whole plan for the night. i offered to just go through with it. but everything's ruined. im glad that i didnt say anything id regret.

(K) felt distant and occupied on the way home. nous avons pris un bus. this was it. (K) va me quitter et je serais seul encore comme toujours. soupire. i cried in public. something i dont usually do. i cried because everything has changed. there was no more tender caress. there was no warm hand holding mine while we wait to get off the bus. j'étais seul. and then the voices came back. i didnt deserve to be happy. it was all my fault. i am too emotional. i am out of control. peut-être c'est ma vraie destinée .. être seul .. :(

Dungeons & Dragons co-creator dies at 69 Saying goodbye to the grandfather of the role-playing game phenomenon. snip .. Dungeons & Dragons players create fictional characters and carry out their adventures with the help of complicated rules. The quintessential geek pastime, it spawned a wealth of copycat games and later inspired a whole genre of computer games that's still growing in popularity.

i started playing dungeons and dragons in college where i met with an odd group of nerds, outcasts, closet gays, writers, and artists (some of whom became lifelong friends). we found comfort in the worlds and people we created. i remember my first character. rod (rodrigo) the human mage. and our first encounter were giant ants. after casting sleep which didnt have any effect on the insects. i had to climb up a tree to escape. (sigh) .. the good old days ..

en commémoration de la disparition de gygax, le grand-père des jeux du role, j'ai souligné ceux MONDES DE DONJONS ET DRAGONS que j'ai visité à travers des années surtout quand j'étudiais à l'université.

* Le monde de Faucongris (Greyhawk)
* Les Royaumes oubliés (Forgotten Realms)
* Oriental Adventures (Extrême-Orient)
* Al-Qadim (Mille et une nuits)
* Maztica (conquête du Nouveau Monde)
* Chronique, une série de suppléments pour les règles de base
* Lancedragon (univers épique)
* Dark Sun (dark fantasy)
* Spelljammer (cosmic fantasy)
* Planescape (basé sur les voyages interplanaires)
* Ravenloft (horreur gothique)
* Birthright (où les joueurs incarnent des rois et dirigeants)
* Rokugan, le monde du Livre des cinq anneaux (type Japon médiéval fantastique) pour le Guide de l'Orient (Oriental Adventures de la 3e édition)
* Kalamar (low-fantasy réaliste)
* Eberron
* Midnight (la résistance dans un monde conquis par le Mal)

hindenburg

au debut, je dois dire que le week-end était toujours le mieux parce que je l'ai passé avec toi (K - mon petit ange) et d'autres amis de bm qui sont aussi mes nouveaux colocataires. j'étais extasié pendant le weekend entier, comme j'étais en ciel (en paradis) surtout quand nous nous sommes embrassé pour le premier temps. (soupire)

je me rappelle que j'ai rencontré à toi et ton copain à la fête surprise pour l'anniversaire de (A) il y a quelque mois. c'est quand j'ai apporté du palabok de lagune à makati en bus. je vous ai rencontré et je vous ai aimé immédiatement. nous avons devenu amis pour réel jusqu'à j'ai commencé à me sentir quelque chose pour toi. j'ai écrit une lettre que parle de mon béquin pour toi. je comprends que je n'ai aucun chance. je suis laid, gros, pauvre, et stupid. je suis un idiot surtout quand tu es près de moi. j'ai rien sauf que je veux te faire heureux. je veux t'aimer. je veux te servir comme un esclavage. je le sais complêtement. je l'ai declaré parce que je meurs dedans si j'avais resté silencieux.

hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa mga pangyayari. hindi pa rin ako gising. isa itong panaginip. mayruon ata akong pagasa lumigaya. hindi ko maiwasan na matakot sapagkat para na akong adik na lagi na lang kitang hinahanap. lagi kitang iniisip. nasisiraan na ata akong ng bait. iniisp ko paano na ako kung mawala ka. at sigurado na ako duon. marami naman mas may itsura, mas bata, mas may pera, mas magaling sa beep. héhé mas may maibibigay sa yo. ayaw ko din palang isipin ito. nalulungkot lang ako. at patuloy ko na naman pinagbibintangan ang mga kakulangan ko. pero kanina sa bus. nung nagusap tayo sa almusal tungkol sa sitwasyon. parang ang dami kong gustong gawin sa yo. este. marami akong gustong gawin natin. héhéhé

qu'est-ce que les étoiles disent? depuis c'est la saison d'amour, je vais poster des liens que parle d'amour comme la compatibilité entre la vierge (moi) et le taureau (K). mais je dois dire que JE NE CROIS PAS en horoscopes. OK?! ^_^

1. l'attraction entre le taureau et la vierge. (a) Relationship Rating: 9 (b) Passion: 8 (c) Communication: 9

2. love test. For Taurus: Problems usually arise in the bedroom, however in all other areas you and your Virgoan will do remarkably well. You are both practical and hard working. (Source: Love Test) For Virgo: You both share the same high standards and, needless to say, are not the most exciting couple on earth. This is a much better connection during the last half of life. (Source: Love Test) Love at first sight. Homebodies who share the same intellectual pursuits. Good as a team. They have everything in common. The only thing they may need to work on is the sexual part. Taurus is much more physical but Taurus could probably waken Virgos sleeping passion They are a good money making combination. Good from the word go. (Source: Astrology Fun)

3. star sign compatibility reading. le taureau avec la vierge. Both Taurus and Virgo are somewhat practical, and concerned with material comfort and security. Each of you favours "the real world." Neither of you likes to take chances with your time, money, energy or feelings. You're both dependable and a bit conservative. Due to Virgo's naturally cautious nature, this relationship can take awhile to develop, but once it's established that both partners are in it for the long haul, it's like a runaway locomotive, running on its own power and difficult to stop.

^_^ mais apparemment, j'espere que c'est vrai! héhéhé (hypocrite??) .. je suis en colère avec moi-même. avec toi aussi. qu'est-ce que tu me fait mon ange?? je ne sais pas ce qui se passe avec moi. je pense de toi sans cesse. je te cherche constamment. je verifie si tu m'as envoyé des SMS. je deviens fou. quelqu'un m'aide!!!!

ma première herbe

art exhibit ng kaibigan ko .. mariano ching .. si "nano" ay kaibigan mula pa ng kolehiyo. isa syang pintor. kaya ganon na lang ang aking ingit sa kanya. dahil may tapang syang ipagpatuloy ang pagpipinta. on se demande ce que le titre de l'exposition signifie - nous n'avons pas peur de toi et nous allons battre ton cul. on se demande aussi combien d'argent un artist gagne après une exposition. je devine que ça depends sur combien de peintures il reussi à vendre. i was happy to see some old friends from college.

qu'est-ce que tu penses des oeuvres? surrealistic. apocalyptic. i do not know what they mean. i find that there is an over all sense of loss, adrift, a shell of a once prosperous and lively past. now its nothing more but empty machinations. without question we go about our daily routine. but is this living .. ? but i might be over analyzing it .. héhéhé .. ikaw ano ang opinion mo ..

it would be nice to bring some vampires with me to the exhibit. kiks et ton copain qui voudraient aller avec moi, j'ai l'intention de les emmener à l'exposition. it would be a social experiment. how will my human friends react to the presence of vampires. will they make the connection? bahala na .. héhéhé ..

Name: We are not afraid of you and We will beat your ass
Start Time: Thursday, February 7, 2008 at 6:00pm
End Time: Tuesday, February 19, 2008 at 9:00pm
Location: West Gallery SM megamall
City/Town: Mandaluyong, Philippines

as soon as i could afford it i left my parents house and tried to build a life on my own. i wanted desperately to be independent. i moved far away. i was trying to get away from .. the past. i had no friends and no one knew me. i was dating a divorced with a kid nurse from a city nearby but it was nothing serious. i had a roomate who was also a colleague at work and this guy was some sort of connoisseur in weed.

one day, i accidentally saw him rolling himself a stick and he offered one to me. i remember seeing bags of it hidden in small vases in his bedroom (how i managed to get in there was a long story and it happened moths later when he was no longer around). as usual, i politely refused. that afternoon though, he planted in me that seed of curiousity which nagged on me as days and months went on. i was intrigued by marijuana from watching films. i imagined it would be a very pleasant and sensual(?) experience. i am not sure how i managed to equate smoking weed and sex but i was then, by this time, determined to try it. i wanted to pretend that i was a true libertine - a free spirit.

i discovered that there were a couple of others at work who also smoked weed. they would have regular weekend get togethers. i started to ask questions. one fateful afternoon, we were gathered at our desks discussing politics which dominated the airwaves with debates of legalizing medical marijuana (how we lost in nevada remains a mystery - another time perhaps). and one of the guys understood my curiosity offered to sell me some later that night. i couldnt believe it!! i was finally going to experience the "high" people had been bragging to me about.

later i drove to their apartment to the outskirts using a crudely drawn map. i was quickly let in and i waited at the foyer and had casual chat with his wife. while he got the merchandise from somewhere further inside. when it was handed to me i didnt know what to do with it. i hurriedly put it inside my backpack. it looked just like a bag of dried leaves.

it WAS a bag of dried leaves. i convinced myself.

200 bucks for 50 ounces of it i paid (not sure about the amounts here as this happened quite a long time ago). i remember feeling the couple had wanted me to stay longer and share. fire up a couple and smoke right then and there with them. but knowing exactly what would happen if i do that (a complete disaster as im all new to it), i hurriedly expressed that i needed to be somewhere and quickly drove off.

back at the apartment, i rolled one big stick. i was almost half way when i felt stupid and senseless for nothing was happening. i googled for how to smoke weed and even felt worse. i must be doing something wrong. i remembered my house mate kept a cigarette machine where you can substitute stuffing in tobacco with weed. i tried that. i ran a dialogue. i taunted myself to stop but i knew i wouldnt because it felt good to do something thats bad. i wanted to be a bad boy but i couldnt be in real life. and besides whats one stick. im a big boy. i can take care of myself. i puffed deeper. i tried to hold on to the smoke as long as humanly possible before exhaling. and then on my third or fourth puff. the world opened up to me.

my movement and breathing slowed down. it became pronounced. i could have inhaled all the air in the room. i waved my hands in front of me. they were blurred. i looked at my surroundings every seemed profound but at the same time i had a hard time focusing. i was ecstatic at the thought that i was successful. so this was the "high" people were saying. i finally understood how a person could become addicted to it. i went to the bathroom and saw my reflection in the mirror. my eyes were red. i then proceeded to the fridge and took some light beer.

it was a different kind of pleasure. a tingle. like the first kiss with that cute school mate you have been obsessing about forever. i thought also that it was better than sex but only because i am terrible at sex. i drank beer for maximum effect. i wanted it to keep going. i wasnt sure how long it would last. i wanted to get the most out of it. i became hungry. i drove out to get a bucket of chicken. there was no sense of danger. i felt indestructible. in retrospect, this was very dangerous and completely irresponsible. i could have ran over someone. or i could have had an accident. i drove thru the fastfood. the girl behind the fastfood window immediately noticed my eyes. i tried to hide them beneath my cap. i felt relieved making it back to the apartment without incident except the constant forgetfullness and self reminder of what i was currently doing. another important symptom. forgetfullness.

i felt like i was in the ocean. i was swimming, making my way back to my room after i ate all the chicken. i thought i should smoke smoke some more weed and see what happens. but even if that was it, i was fine. i was contented. back in my bedroom i put on some art films, and began pleasuring myself. i was convinced then that it was better than actual sex. i imagine how it would be like being high and then having actual sex. but this has never happened to me to this day.

oh one more important thing .. since i have decided to quit smoking (cigarettes). im smoke free for one year and a month already. i breathe better. i have less oppurtunity to smoke weed as well. my friend who brought over some seeds from abroad is growing herself a pot. if she throws a party and im invited then i get to smoke weed. otherwise i do not feel any craving. plus i know it is illegal and dangerous here in the philippines.

dragons d'une flamme d'été

je viens de finir de lire les dragons d'une flamme d'été. dans le livre, quelque de nos personnages favoris ont mort. je ne parlerais pas dire ce qui ils sont héhéhé!!! nous voyons les dieux et les déesses de krynn, leur parent Chaos - le père de tous et de rien, leur enfants des dieux (solateri, lunateri, nuiteri). nous voyons aussi les enfants des héros de la lance (palin majère et steel de lumlane).et puis finalement, nous voyons les chevaliers de takhisis - la reine des ténèbres. comme les chevaliers de solamnia qui ont les trois ordres (de la rose, de la couronne, et de la epée [sword]), les chevaliers de takhisis ont aussi les trois ordres du lys (lilies - les guerriers), du crane (skull - les pretres), de l'epine (thorn - les sorciers). le livre parle de la fin de l'univers parce que de Chaos, la guerre entre lui et ses enfants (paladine, gilean, takhisis).

this is a transition book which connects the chronicles trilogy to the next generation of books which makes it inevitably incomplete. incomplete in the sense that it has several references to stories outside of its own (example: the story of how steel brightblade became a knight of takhisis, the war between the elven kingdoms of silvanesti and qualinesti, kendermore! and a lot more). this gives me a good feeling that there is more in store for dragonlance fans. but you cant help but think that it might be another ploy to squeeze some more the dragonlance cash cow. back to the book. it concentrates on how palin usha taz and steel recaptured chaos.

nag birthday yung pinuno ng support group for fat people ng nakaraang sabado (kahapon). at nakakatuwa na inimbita nila ako. wala naman akong kilala duon. at alam natin na mayruon akong problema sa maraming tao. social anxiety (o social phobia) ang tawag dito. sakit ito sa utak. ito ay ang di karaniwang takot na naramramdaman pag mayruong maraming tao tulad ng isang party. buti na lang nakita ko si rob duon. yung namigay ng porn dvds. at nakakilala ako ng magkasintahan (iskripulo at lulu) na mabait din. sinamahan pa nga nila ako maglaro ng dota pagkatapos ng party.

im trying to remember the first time i felt this anxiety. i feel it goes back to the very beginning. i have this vague memory of playing sports. i was forced to play. when i tried playing basketball. i was able to successfully shoot it from the 3 point line. i was very happy (reason that i still remember it). and yet i was not able to continue because of the disorder. feelings of being inadequate. of being not part of it. of being an outsider. it was a miserable time for me. there is a voice in my head. the voice that tells us that we are not worthy of living. much less worthy of being able to play .. i remember it was telling me to just quit while ahead. and i did. :(

.. im mental ..

dragons of the dwarven depths

est-ce que tu souviens le dragon qui me donnait par mon ancien ami rivebise. merci encore mon ami! je l'appelle fiori. c'est un dragon blanc, supposément le plus faible et idiot de tous les dragons. donc, je pense de lui comme un dragon argent noble à sa place. (comme l'ami dragon du chevalier courageux huma) .. héhéhé.

it is recommended that before you read the lost chronicles trilogy. you must finish reading the chronicles trilogy first. why? because the lost chronicles is about the adventures that happened during the chronicles trilogy but were intentionally left out (i heard as to make more money) but perhaps its a good thing that our favorite companions continue to have "new" adventures way after their lifetimes. ::sob:: ils me manquent bien ... ::sob:: tome 1 dragons of the dwarven depths is about how the companions obtained the hammer of kharas. a gift from the gods of light by which the inhabitants krynn will able to forge the mythical dragonlances. also it showcases the kingdom of the mountain dwarves thorbadin and the different clans of dwarved who dwell in it. my favorite part is when caramon drew a heart on the tunnel wall with tika's name inside. cute cute ^_^ (sigh) the highseekers who continue to be a burden to the companions and the refugees, remind me very much of self righteous theists who are filled with hate.

i tried walking around the subdivision. it was 4 in the afternoon. the sun was hiding behind clouds. it looks like it was about to rain. i didnt have much to do at the house except play with the computer and read another dragonlance book. i got back an hour after feeling better about myself. small steps.

j'étais vraiment decu d'apprendre que quelque de mes amis étaient moins noble que j'ai originairement pensé. je l'appelle SQUATTER MENTALITY. this is the thinking that people who have less have license to steal from people who have more just because those people who have more might/dont need it. il y avait beaucoup de cas quand j'ai observé cette attitude. c'est juste avidité. nakakahiya at nakakadismaya. dahil pinakitaan mo ng kabaitan at ito pa ang isusukli. ang solusyon siguro ay itigil na lang ang pakikibagay sa mga ganitong klaseng tao.

revisitant cébu

BONNES FETES A TOUS! HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! this is the greeting that i would use during this time of the year. it respects the beliefs of other people what ever the case that maybe. it does not presume that another is christian like when people would say MERRY CHRISTMAS which alienates and ultimately demeans non christian people and their own beliefs. NOT EVERYONE IS CHRISTIAN. jews celebrate the festival of lights and moslems celebrate the end of ramadan. many people are ignorant including myself about religious holidays of other religions. another greeting which i found to be very acceptable is PEACE BE WITH YOU. although its been used by catholics during their mass service, it has a solid secular quality about it. and so .. je dois dire .. que la paix soit avec toi mon ami ..

four months. i find myself boarding the plane back to cebu. i am excited to see the city that i have considered home for almost 5 years. i longed for the fresh air, the relaxed atmosphere, being away from it all, which is how i wanted to spend the holidays. over the past couple of days, i have been swamped with programming work. i wanted to get away from it just for a while.

i was also hoping id get some hard earned dough but i suppose that has to wait as well. there was a slight complication. i was furious but i also know that i need only to be more patient. mother was furious when she heard.

i have not been away that long but ive noticed some changes while i was away. there are new office buildings. mall extensions. new arrangments at the supermarket. new restaurants (fastfood) and apartments. cebu is clearly and rapidly developing.

i had lunch with some old friends. a reunion. it was nice to be them reminiscing about "the good old days". we are only given this brief moment yet again. this makes it rather special. compounded with having to deal with saying goodbye all over again. and it did feel like goodbye.

er .. max?? breathe ..

my visit was not just about reunions and feeling down and empty after. i did need to bring back some books, a computer monitor, and some clothing i managed to leave behind last time i was here. i slept in my old room. it felt strange. it felt like i was home. i was a ghost come back to haunt the place i frequented in while i was alive. it irks me that there is no going back except in my mind. and its vague. everything is vague. i could have just imagined it all. encore une fois, tu me manques bien mon ami .. tu me manques toujours. (sigh)

fortunately for ghis who happened to need someone to deliver an airplane ticket, i was happy to take the errand. she left for france and will be back next year. whenever i am with her and her friends (who are italians) i can't help but feel inferior and different. i told ghis about it. i think she understood what i was talking about. she doesn't understand why i felt that way. neither do i. am i less of a human being? this is a pinoy mentality we are so familiar with, something i need to unlearn. or this is something more personal. a mental sickness of feeling constantly inadequate.

parolado

itong dalawang artista yung dumalo sa bahay. irma daw yung pangalan ng babae at ronnie lazaro yung lalaki. kilala ko yung lalaki sa tv. madalas na inaapi yung role niya.

c'est quoi? ang isang parolado ay taong galing bilanguan na nakalaya na. nuong jueves may kumatok sa pinto namin at ang sabi ay galing daw sila sa department of justice. nagpaalam sila na gagawa sila ng isang palabas na ang tema ay tungkol sa parolado. napili nila ang bahay namin sa laguna bilang background para sa dokumentaryo. marahil dahil mukha itong gusgusin. kung baga lower middle class na tao ang nakatira dito. ordinaryong pilipino. pero naisip ko din na baka dahil sa maliwanag at malawak ang espasyo sa labas. may maliit na garaje at jardin sa katabi.

pag dating ng linggo. dumating na ang crew. ang dami palang tao sa akala namin maliit na produksyon. siguro sobra sa bente ang mga tao. nakita ko yung director. di ko kilala. pero kamukha niya si woody allen. mukhang matalino. balak ko sanang manuod ng golden compass sa bagong gawang SM Muntinlupa (malapit sa amin) pero di na ako nakapunta dahil nanuod na lang ako nung filming.

di ako mahilig manuod ng mga palabas sa tv. lalo na kung pilipino. pero mahilig ang mga kasama ko sa bahay. kaya nakikinuod na lang ako sa kanila. yung dumalo na artista ay may kasikatan na din. si ronnie lazaro (?). kilala ko siya dahil siya yung gumanap na tatay nung palabas na pinapanuod ni mama tuwing gabi. yung ibang artista na marahil asawa at anak ni ronnie ay magada pero di ko din kilala. tinanong ko kapatid ko kung kilala niya. nakikita niya din daw sa tv yung mga yun.

mahiyain kasi kaming magpamilya kaya sa loob lang kami ng kwarto nanatili habang tinapos nila ang filming sa kusina. na kung akong tatanungin ay talaga naman mukhang skwatter ang dating ng kusina namin kaya siguro napili nila. héhé ..

flint forgefeu est mort

je lis le troisième livre des chroniques (les dragons d’une aube de printemps). les compagnons sont arrivé à néraka (le siège des arméesdragon). notre ami flint est mort à godshome. fizban ou paladin a l'emmené au ciel quelque part. je ne peux pas m'aider mais j'ai pleuré un peu quand je me compte qu'il est vraiment mort. bien que j'ai su déjà ça. comme j'ai dit avant, je dis encore. ces personnages sont plus réel à moi que les gens réel. je me sens leur peine, leur amitié, leur amour pour l'un l'autre entre kitiara et tanis. caramon et raistlin. tika et caramon. lauranalanthalasa (le général d'or) et tanthalasa (J"ADORE LES NOMS D'ELFS). je me sens desolée pour taz. le meilleur ami de flint. the price to pay for having grown attached to people. letting them go would be difficult and long.

tu me manques encore. pendant j'étais en route chez mes parents. il pleuvait. je t'ai envoyé un sms et tu m'as repondu. je me rappelle ton sourire. ton visage. c'est comme le soleil. je vois notre photos. je me rappelle quand nous serions passer des temps ensemble. pendant le déjeuner. nous parlerions et nous bavarderions. j'ai ouvert mon sac a dos et j'ai trouvé des piécettes. 10 peso coins. je te les donnerai parce que tu les voulais. (sigh). nous prendrions une promenade autour la ville. j'étais le plus heureux homme dans le monde. mais je n'oublie jamais que je suis mort-vivant. et toi, tu n'es pas comme moi. c'est pourquoi j'avais besoin de partir. notre amitié devenait impossible. ne deteste pas moi .. mon ami. mon amour.

pour maintenant j'ai fait une pause de krynn parce que j'ai réussi à obtenir une copie d'un autre livre qui est interessant -- THE GOLDEN COMPASS (Les Royaumes du Nord). ce livre était interdit par l'église catholique. et quelque amis qui sont catholiques avaient envoyé emails autour. et c'est exactement pourquoi il faudrait que je dois le lire. ^_^ qui décide ce que je lis ou ce que je regarde? l'église? jamais!!

dahil sa taga englatera ang nagsulat ng librong ito. may mga ilan ilang salita na ginamit dito ay hindi ko naiintindihan. malalalim o hindi mga pangkaraniwang ginagamit na ingles. hindi siguro pangkaraniwan sa pilipinas. mamamasdan talaga na iba ang ingles ng mga amerikano sa mga taga inglatera. para bang may kababawan ang ingles ng mga amerikano. dahil hango sa ingles ng mga amerikano ang ingles ng mga filipino. mas mababaw pa lalo ang alam kong ingles. sa aking paningin. sa sobrang lalim. sa tingin ko kailangan kong may katapat na dictionario upang mabigyan ko ng kabuuang kahalagahan ang kwento. hindi siguro nakakapagtaka sa ngayon na hindi pa rin ako tapos. mag iilang linggo na. héhé

lapin brun - oo nga pala. bago ko makalimutan. inalis ko na SIYA sa buhay ko. hindi naging mahirap sapagkat wala rin naman talagang patutunguhan iyon. alam ko ito nuon pa. sa una pa lamang. siguro nabulag ako ng pagasang sakali ngang may mangyayari. pero napagtibayan na ng panahon. wala talaga. ginawa ko ang lahat ng puede kong gawin. at hindi ako naging maramot sa kanya. bagkos. baka nga sumobra pa. hindi naman sayang ang panahon iniukol ko dahil sa bawat minuto na kami'y magkasama ay walang ibang dulot kungdi ang walang katamubas na ligaya. héhé kahit na naguusap lang kami. siguro napaniwala ako ng husto sa nilikhang panaginip na ako din ang may kagagawan. (sigh) habang may bukas ..

un lundi des fromages

la semaine passée. nous avons emmené l'un des invités au gerry's où ils servent des plats traditionels philippins. nous avons mangé du kare-kare, du sisig, des festons (scallops - mon plus préféré), du kilawin (la poisson crue) et des autres plats interessant. et bien sur, du riz. je ne pense pas qu'il m'est amusé. les plats philippin sont peut-être bizarre pour eux.

selon ghislaine, la travailleur sociale de lyon qui j'ai rencontré à cebu, m'a dit que le fromage est l'identité nationale de son pays comme le riz est le meme pour nous philippins. alors, cette semaine. certains sont arrivé de france. ils ont rapporté des fromages. quand deux culturs différent rencontrent, le premier chose que se passe, ils échangent suivant les plats traditionels. pour les français, c'est fromage (et vin).

il y avait tous de sorts de fromages qui viennent des vaches (cows) et des chèvres (goats). vois les photos. je n'ai eu qu'un fromage. c'était comme le cheddar depuis nous avons le cheddar dans les philippines. je ne sais pas aussi leur noms. peut-être quelqu'un pouvait m'aider?

pinakain pa nga ng balot at kwek kwek yung isa. siguro nasusuka na yung pranses sa dire. pero dahil may respeto siya sa kultura ng pilipinas, tulad ng nakakarami sa tingin ko na pranses na may likas na respeto sa mga kultura sa asiya o tawagin natin sa pagkakaiba-iba ng kultura walang nakakataas at wala din nagkukulang (pantay pantay), tinanggap na lang niya ang hamon ng mga pinoy. samakutawid hindi sila bastos. héhéhé. tulad ng ibang amerikano. na saksakan ng bastos. at maliit ang tingin sa kultura sa asia. higit lalo sa kultura ng pinoy. -- personal na opinion ko lang ito. marahil mali ako dito .. ano sa tingin niyo?

en plus, makati est une très petite ville. nous pensons que c'est grande commes les grande villes des états-unis ou japon. mais en réalité. c'est vraiment petite. pourquoi? parce qu'il y avait un mois que j'avais vu déjà des visages familier. la semaine dernière, j'ai vu john de weserv. et hier, henri de l'universite. héhéhé quel un petit monde.

sunshine et leo se sont marié

il y a dix ans que j'avais travaillé avec des ordinateurs. j'avais travaillé avec plusieurs d'entreprises. chaque outil a ses propres avantages et ses propres désavantages. que penses-tu? qui est le meillure outil controlleur version?

(1) fujitsu weserv - ms source safe. c'est facile à utiliser.
(2) american buildings - star team. c'est comme le source safe.
(3) lexmark - rational clearquest. il a des views et des baselines. au début, il pouvait faire de te confondre mais plus tard, c'est si utile pour de grands projets.
(4) technidata - ms team explorer. je ne sais pas encore. (???)

mes amis de l'université. nous nous sommes retrouvé à l'église catholique de saint james. sur le chemin, je n'avais jamais, mais jamais, vu quelle plus grandes maisons. chaque maison a eu deux trois quatre ou cinq voitures. les rues vers l'église étaient aussi grand que les maisons. quelqu'un m'a dit que les plus riches des riches habitent dans cette ville. je me suis demandé si j'étais toujours dans les philippines. c'était un autre monde. j'ai vu de vieux amis et des visages familier. je me suis amusé le temps avec mes amis. et quand je suis parti, c'etait un peu déprimant comme je disais au revoir au passé. tout a changé.

nakakalula ang mga bahay duon. ngayon lang nga ata ako nakakita ng ganuon kalalaki na bahay. para silang mga castillo. duon daw nakatira sina ramos at ibang pang mga politiko, mga artista, mga taong nasa kapangyarihan at may mga impluwensiya. di ko din maiwasan magisip na dito ba napunta ang mga nakaw ng mga politiko? walang akong camera kaya di ko nakuhanan ng mga retrato ang mga bahay. pati mismo daan. pangmayaman. malawak. walang basura. malinis.

tuwing kasal lang madalas kami nagkikita-kita ng mga kaibigan ko nuon. iyun siguro ang kinalulungkot ko, na marami nang panahon ang lumipas, lumipas na din ang mga pagkakaibigan namin. bagamat sa kanya kanyang baghaya man o sulit na pagkakalimot namin sa isa't isa, nagawa pa din namin ibalik, kahit sa maikling panahon, ang dating kasiyahan. taglay sa mga pagtitipon-tipon tulad ng kasal ang munting kapangyarihan na maibalik ang sigla ng nakaraan. kayat di kagulat gulat na sa aming pagalis ay walang ibang banggit ang bawat isa sa amin -- "kailan ba ang susunod na kasal" ..

voici des photos qui étaient pris du mariage. yes yes baboy gihapon ako ^_^ .. il y a plus photos dans le site de aileen.

madrasah

DepEd pushes madrasah program [snip] MANILA, Philippines -- The Department of Education (DepEd) is stepping up its efforts to provide high-quality education in Muslim public schools through the madrasah program .. Under the program, the government will solicit "matching donations" from Malaysia and Brunei, its "partners in Southeast Asia for improving the quality of Muslim education in the country."

les écoles publique islamique? should public schools be labeled as islamic/catholic/whatever. should we be teaching lies to our children such as the long process of our existence, biologically speaking? that we didn't come from banana trees like in some fairy tale. nor did we just magically appeared out of nowhere. this is just one of the lies perpetuated by religion. i sight here for emphasis of what kind of lies they are known for. as the famous evolutionary biologist and author richard dawkins pointed out. there are no moslem/catholic/whatever children. there are just children of moslem/catholic/whatever parents who forcing their children to take on their own religion. these children are not given the freedom to choose for themselves. because by the time they develop the sense, they've already been programmed to reject reason (or other lies from other religions). why call it a public school? if it means to teach religion. why call it a school at all. why not just call it for what it is, a brain washing / indoctrination center.

i can see why the government agrees to this arrangement. it does not have much money. and most of the government budget goes to paying off the debt. not to education. think about the repercussions of this decision to our society. call me ignorant. what do they call those schools in the middle east and apparently all over europe as well, which teach hatred and extremism.

SA WAKAS GRADWEYT NA ANG UTOL KO!!

masaya kami kagabi. dahil nagmarcha na ang akong igsuhon. gradweyt na gyud sya. at sa lunes magsugod na siya sa canon, sa libis. hindi sangayon ang among magulang at mga lain na igsuhon na tanggapin niya yung sa canon. pero ang akong giingnon siya na .. gawin niya yung gusto niya. wag syang makikinig sa ibang tao o mas lalo na sa lipunan. siya ay malaya mag desisyon para sa sarili niya. pagkatapos ng ceremonias kumain kami sa teriyaki boy ng salmon sashimi, miso soup, kanin, piniritong tofu at giniling at iba pa. mura lang yung nakain namin. walo kami tanan. pero mga 3k lang nagastos namo. hehe.

quels les états des états-unis as-tu visité? many people ask me why i returned to the philippines. i constantly did ask myself during the early days of being back. i missed the hot water. the bath tub. the car. the tv shows. the easy access to quality porn. the enjoyable experience of driving. the famous places we often see on tv. the financial freedom. back then i was ready to give up my own identity.

i was not able to see the bigger picture. that i wasnt happy. and this is what CEBU taught me. im talking about having meaningful relationships with friends. i didnt have friends in the states. and i was neglecting the other most important part of my life. my family. looking back at this map. at the few places i have been too. this question came up again because another friend is considering coming back. and i can imagine that he has been receiving a deluge of reproach. he made a list of what matters. disadvantages and advantages. in the end, the best advice i could ever give him and anyone for that matter is .. do what YOU want (do not do what someone else wants).

une dépression d'une journée

j'ai lu la nouvelle et je ne suis pas surprise à lire que les états-unis vont vendre 20 milliards d'armes au golfe pour contre l'iran. vous vous souvenez la dernière fois que les americains ont vendus des armes à la région pour contre ses ennemis (the taliban ). its somewhat diabolical is it not, for americans to create instability and then make a sizable profit out of that by selling arms to everyone in the region. c'est exactement le président passé dwight eisenhower nous a dit sur le sujet du complex militaro-industriel. where in defense contractors and the government work together solely for profit at the citizen's expense

[audio podcast - je te promets] as sudden as it appeared. its gone now. i felt so down and lost that i called up friends (gladys) and strangers (vic) - vous m'avez les deux sauvgardé, tried to telephone my family, begged others if they could spare sometime. i didnt want to be alone yesterday. i broke down inexplicably at anything. i was aching for tu-sais-qui which by the way, didn't return the favor when our roles were reversed. a lesson learned. you can never depend on anyone. j'ai gardé nos conversations sur skype. je me souviens tous. in retrospect, it was a good thing that this happened. i know now that it is what it is. je pars sans regret. had it proceeded the way i wished, it would have been a great story - that i was able to seduce tu-sais-qui to the dark side somehow. this is entirely my fault. it is recognizably a recurring problem. i depended on another.

para labanan yung depression ko kahapon. sinubukan kong makinig sa mga kantang masasaya. naglakad ako paikot sa elizabeth mall (e-mall) tapos sa jones. umabot pa ako ng fuente hangang sa bandang internet café na aking pinuputahan nuon sa una na wala pa akong computer. gusto ko sana pumunta kahapon sa simbahan. hindi para magdasal. para lang umupo at magisip. magandang lugar ang simbahan para duon. habang nakatingin din ako sa mga mukha ng mga iba tao na marahil nanduon para magdasal sa mga pagkukulang sa kani-kanilang buhay. pagabot ko sa orange brutos padung capitol. nakapoy na ako. wala na ko nadayun. pagabot sa balay nakapag sulti pa mi kay tu-sais-qui. naramdaman ko na yung layo namin sa isa't isa. sige lang .. basin ingon ana gyud ang buhay. j'étais complètement d'etre égoiste. je viens d'entendre qu'ils viennent de se quitter ... quelle une histoire triste. je ne comprends pas ce que s'est passé ..

la prise de la bastille

tu sais comment ces gens qui sont beaux. it feels like theyre doing it on purpose. torture average folks with their symmetrical faces, luscious hair, full lips, enchanting smiles. like moth to the flame. nous sommes tous des victimes disposés.

aujourd'hui, france célèbre la prise de la bastille. j'ai regardé la parade sur la télé, canal TV5MONDE. il y avait des avions, des tanks, des gendarmes, des fusées, tous les sortes de camions, des hélicoptères, etc etc. j'ai devenu ennuyeux après un peu de minutes. je me demande quand les citoyens de notre pays, les philippines, attaqueront notre propre bastille. et quand je dis la bastille, je veux dire l'église catholique qui continue à dominer notre société. si quelqu'un peut analyser les ressemblances entre leur société et les notres. (1) l'église (2) la noblesse/la royauté (3) et finalement, les pauvres/les paysans. c'est exactement comme l'ancien régime avant la revolution française.

cet après-midi, j'ai vu harry potter: l'ordre du phénix. ma partie la plus préférée est quand seigneur voldemort et professeur albus dumbledore dansaient comme des chefs d'orchestre. les plus puissant sorcières dans le monde combattaient, leur sceptres s'avaient donné ce feu liquide que j'ai trouvé d'être tout à fait incroyable et assez extraordinaire. même si j'ai su que sirius mourrait de lisant le livre, sa mort me faisait presque pleurer.

[audio podcast tagalog] [audio podcast english] -- bilang na ang mga araw ko. mga ilang araw na lang ay lilipat na ako pabalik ng manila. malungkot. matagal na din akong naninirahan dito sa isla ng cebu. 4 na taon sa kasalukuyan. sa kalagitnaan ng mga taon na iyon. natutunan kong mahalin muli ang kulturang pilipino. isa sa mga hahanaphanapin ko sa cebu ay ang kawalan ng mabigat na trapiko. pangalawa, ay ang pagkain na hindi lang mura, masarap, sariwa at ang pinaka importante sari sari (pochero, balbacua, tinowa, sinugbang isda at pusit, utan sabaw ng gulay, at marami pang iba). pangatlo, sariwang hangin dahil malapit ang syudad sa dagat. malapit din sa mga bundok. panghuli at higit sa lahat ay ang mga taong tumulong sa kin sa aking maikling lakbay sa buhay. salamat sa kanila .. salamat sa iyo .. :)

l'un des choses que j'ai remarqué quand j'habitais à eufaula et quand j'habitais à cebu est que j'ai fait de vrai amis à cebu. la même chose s'est passé quand je travaillais à makati. sans doute, la qualité de la vie est mieux aux philippines. quand j'ai fait des amis, ça le fait vraiment difficile quand c'est temps à partir. de plus, je continue et je souhaite que j'ai quelqu'un qui je pouvais partager ma vie, mes aventures, mes pensées, mes espoir, mes reves, mes tristesse ..